the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.