My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.