Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
cat food counts as protein by the way
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
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apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
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It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.