so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing