got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Dating After Heartbreak
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.