I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
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He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
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I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.