Last Night in New York (914)

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• (914): View more from New York

  I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero

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• (914): View more from New York

  Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out

  (914): View more from New York

  He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off

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• (914): View more from New York

  I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here

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• (914): View more from New York

  She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.

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• (914): View more from New York

  They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border

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• (914): View more from New York

  I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin

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• (914): View more from New York

  the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.

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• (914): View more from New York

  I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset

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• (914): View more from New York

  You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.

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• (914): View more from New York

  So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..

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• (914): View more from New York

  wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?

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• (914): View more from New York

  I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her

  (845): View more from New York

  You mean sponsor?

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