Texts From Last Night

Last Night in North Dakota (701)

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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.

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  (701): Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that. http://tfl.nu/ctxr
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  All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.

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  (701): All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats. http://tfl.nu/27ky
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  Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED

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  (701): Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED http://tfl.nu/76ld
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  I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.

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  (701): I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control. http://tfl.nu/z8ao
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  I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.

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  (701): I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close. http://tfl.nu/zatr
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  Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.

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  (701): Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy. http://tfl.nu/ym5a
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  If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.

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  (701): If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs. http://tfl.nu/qa5n
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  I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.

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  (701): I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking. http://tfl.nu/71cy
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  second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.

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  (701): second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life. http://tfl.nu/2fc0
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  You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.

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  (701): You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool. http://tfl.nu/2eh0
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  All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy

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  (701): All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy http://tfl.nu/indb
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  I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.

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  (701): I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign. http://tfl.nu/tjoa
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  I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water

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  (701): I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water http://tfl.nu/kjo7
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  He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it

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  (701): He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it http://tfl.nu/1dio
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  New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off

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  (701): New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off http://tfl.nu/w6xr
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