I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night