I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.