Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas