I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.