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Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
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