Last Night in California (949)

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• (949): View more from California

  the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters

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• (949): View more from California

  you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.

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• (949): View more from California

  I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...

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• (949): View more from California

  So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?

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• (949): View more from California

  He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.

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• (949): View more from California

  Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?

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• (949): View more from California

  It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.

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• (949): View more from California

  Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.

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• (949): View more from California

  i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?

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• (949): View more from California

  im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever

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• (714): View more from California

  I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?

  (949): View more from California

  Midgetier?

  (714): View more from California

  Smaller, yet meaner.

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• (949): View more from California

  "it" just moved

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• (949): View more from California

  you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."

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• (949): View more from California

  I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall

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