Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (909)

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  (909): View more from California

  No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back

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  (909): No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back http://tfl.nu/jzby
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  (909): View more from California

  When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?

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  (909): When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too? http://tfl.nu/ln8u
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  (909): View more from California

  Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.

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  (909): Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn. http://tfl.nu/8ily
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  (909): View more from California

  Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"

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  (909): Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead" http://tfl.nu/uxql
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  (909): View more from California

  I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.

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  (909): I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting. http://tfl.nu/6xjr
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  (909): View more from California

  Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions

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  (909): Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions http://tfl.nu/1fmr
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  (909): View more from California

  I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...

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  (909): I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji... http://tfl.nu/rxc7
  Replies (5) Good night (692) Bad night (224)
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  (909): View more from California

  i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way

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  (909): i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on (901): continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way http://tfl.nu/cwtc
  Replies (1) Good night (888) Bad night (208)
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  (909): View more from California

  is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.

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  (909): is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender. http://tfl.nu/yst1
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  (909): View more from California

  While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."

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  (909): While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run." http://tfl.nu/99ml
  Replies (1) Good night (658) Bad night (165)
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  (909): View more from California

  omg i wish you could see the front of my car.

  (909): View more from California

  There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.

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  (909): omg i wish you could see the front of my car. (909): There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood. http://tfl.nu/64tw
  Replies (7) Good night (794) Bad night (128)
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  (562): View more from California

  I bought something for you today. You'll love it.

  (909): View more from California

  What is it? Drugs?

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  (562): I bought something for you today. You'll love it. (909): What is it? Drugs? http://tfl.nu/q4iy
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