i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
