why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.