Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.