What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?