Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.