We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room