But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.