Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??