I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??