Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?