When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life