When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life