Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (361)

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  (361): View more from Texas

  Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??

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  (361): Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture?? http://tfl.nu/iimu
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  ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.

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  Shotgun.

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  (361): ISS teacher has a tramp stamp. (1-361): Shotgun. http://tfl.nu/53a6
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  Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?

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  (361): Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive? http://tfl.nu/y06z
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  At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?

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  (361): At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now? http://tfl.nu/lbi5
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  I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.

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  Def the best call fo sho

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  That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.

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  (361): I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it. (1-361): Def the best call fo sho (361): That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers. http://tfl.nu/l307
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  Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.

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  (361): Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war. http://tfl.nu/2o17
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  What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?

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  These are the tickets we got last night.

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  Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?

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  Yes...yes you did.

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  (361): What are these yellow papers in the kitchen? (1-361): These are the tickets we got last night. (361): Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear? (1-361): Yes...yes you did. http://tfl.nu/myva
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  Boobs. All I remember is boobs.

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  (361): Boobs. All I remember is boobs. http://tfl.nu/ewyu
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  Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.

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  (361): Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again. http://tfl.nu/uwik
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  One girl and one boy is just not enough.

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  (361): One girl and one boy is just not enough. http://tfl.nu/qv4l
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  There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.

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  (361): There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work. http://tfl.nu/jgfn
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