Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Screwed.edu
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Follow @tfln
Cracked IndieClick Humor