I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle