been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.