hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.