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Last Night in Pennsylvania (215)

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You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.

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While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.

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(215): You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid. (215): While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here. http://tfl.nu/jz3m

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No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.

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(215): No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death. http://tfl.nu/8wb9

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by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING

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(215): by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING http://tfl.nu/y31l

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she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel

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(215): she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel http://tfl.nu/yxdc

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i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls

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(215): i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls http://tfl.nu/liuo

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I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone

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(215): I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone http://tfl.nu/geen

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Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less

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(215): Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less http://tfl.nu/o2ix

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Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.

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(215): Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating. http://tfl.nu/ef4v

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THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!

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(215): THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT! http://tfl.nu/gopq

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I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?

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(215): I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack? http://tfl.nu/k7vl

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You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have

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(215): You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have http://tfl.nu/bm9z

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It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke

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(215): It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke http://tfl.nu/1v10

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I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.

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(215): I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back. http://tfl.nu/mir2

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who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?

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(215): who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game? http://tfl.nu/6oz2

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spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.

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(215): spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover. http://tfl.nu/j4hn

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Last Night in Pennsylvania (215)

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