the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
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Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
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When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
yeah, it was that bad.