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You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
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