some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
yeah, it was that bad.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese