Last Night in New York (315)

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• (315): View more from New York

  So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.

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• (315): View more from New York

  I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  What is your life?

  (315): View more from New York

  A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought

  (1-315): View more from New York

  Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss

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• (315): View more from New York

  sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off

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• (315): View more from New York

  i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex

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• (315): View more from New York

  She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder

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• (315): View more from New York

  Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.

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• (315): View more from New York

  Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.

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• (315): View more from New York

  That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.

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• (315): View more from New York

  I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.

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• (315): View more from New York

  turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes

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• (315): View more from New York

  Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.

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• (315): View more from New York

  you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain

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