skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him