Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night