I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
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I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
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I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.