She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.