Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
He kissed a someone with a penis
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?