Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.