you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.