We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.