If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
How's your threesome situation going?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.