I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.