You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.