You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today