If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..