Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Pennsylvania (814)

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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...

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  (814): You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum... http://tfl.nu/p3s1
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  And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?

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  (814): And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys? http://tfl.nu/bo9t
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  I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.

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  (814): I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade. http://tfl.nu/dxnr
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  he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..

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  (814): he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth.. http://tfl.nu/cpmo
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  he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.

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  (814): he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out. http://tfl.nu/d51a
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  dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high

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  worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave

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  nevermind....I'm on the way

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  (814): dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high (808): worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave (814): nevermind....I'm on the way http://tfl.nu/dzeu
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  MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.

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  (814): MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished. http://tfl.nu/8mqg
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  Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends

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  (814): Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends http://tfl.nu/5yet
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  there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party

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  (814): there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party http://tfl.nu/p535
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  It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.

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  (814): It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice. http://tfl.nu/t4ih
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  Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.

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  (814): Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade. http://tfl.nu/7055
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  I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.

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  (814): I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester. http://tfl.nu/p4o8
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  I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A

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  (814): I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A http://tfl.nu/j0fk
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  Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.

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  (814): Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it. http://tfl.nu/kj9q
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  all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot

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  (814): all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot http://tfl.nu/2zr0
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