i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"