Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
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She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
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when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all