from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
