Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New Hampshire (603)

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today

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  (603): It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today http://tfl.nu/pqk1
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  You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?

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  (603): You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular? http://tfl.nu/marg
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  So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot

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  (603): So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot http://tfl.nu/44v5
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  Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.

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  (603): Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final. http://tfl.nu/2gn0
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  Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels

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  Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know

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  (603): Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels (1-603) Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know http://tfl.nu/7nn4
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  just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.

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  (603): just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college. http://tfl.nu/g8i6
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  Why do you think it's a no-pants party?

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  Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.

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  (978): Why do you think it's a no-pants party? (603): Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation. http://tfl.nu/hg9g
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  Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.

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  (603): Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic. http://tfl.nu/b5pl
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  be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage

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  (603): be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage http://tfl.nu/vba1
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  Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??

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  (603): Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame?? http://tfl.nu/gyhi
  Replies (15) Good night (4359) Bad night (316)
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  whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.

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  (603): whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card. http://tfl.nu/d7h9
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  I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable

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  (603): I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable http://tfl.nu/70go
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  Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.

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  (603): Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good. http://tfl.nu/mw2h
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  Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?

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  (603): Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar? http://tfl.nu/vt9e
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  Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?

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  No...more like a life jacket.

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  (603): Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet? (1-603): No...more like a life jacket. http://tfl.nu/4uwt
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