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so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
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