If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.