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Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
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