Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.