Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol