dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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