I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I look better un-naked...
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I don't get it.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic