I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate